sleep

Incredibly, im still walking around here after a week that
pretty much blew me down.

I thought something great could have happened.
and then I lost it. Its great at 30.


I hate saying that I feel like Im cursed but its proven self evident.
Part of me cant get close. Part of me can stop showing how much I want to be closer.
I live my life mostly by the principle of giving. I try not to expect but hope alone...and give what I know I would want.

Its tough, maybe its piscean. Im not sure sometimes I wish that all I did was smoke cigarettes and create art. But then I would be pent up like I was for the past 9 months coming out only to buy cigarettes and food.
My friends only existed via long distance and everyone in town had no idea I had moved back. i was limboed...Or I limboed myself somewhere between here and Albuquerque.

Im not sure what these swampy rants are about, they seem to be just for me to look and reflect..so that I may remember this month or this time for the future. Do they have to be more than just a way to save paper. (Pillow Book).

Percisely, at the moment when they sell the trees to pay for the war. I start to blog...soully a coincidence.
Im tired of complaining about war and bush...love and all this shite.

Sleep.

perchance to dream.